Nothing Here, Honest

Dear Mr Special Branch Officer Sir,
How are you today, tuan? I hope you had good nasi lemak or roti canai with kuah dal for breakfast. I am so sorry that you have to spend time monitoring us now. It must be so tedious to go through every blog and read every post, when the time could be better spent eating good nasi lemak or roti canai with kuah dal. So Tuan Mr Special Branch Officer Sir, let me just save you some trouble and tell you straight away that my blog is not worth going through, because I don't write anything clever or make smart political comments or complain about the government or things like that. After all, what do you expect? I am just a has-been newscaster who didn't do well for herself by marrying a Minister or a Sultan (My husband was a persistent problem)

Oh, are you still reading, tuan? Tuan, I know this really good nasi lemak place near my house in Damansara Kim. That's only half an hour from Bukit Aman. But since you're here anyway, perhaps we can get acquainted, and you can see how harmless I am. In fact, you might even think : this woman is so hopelessly boring I am recommending that no one take a look at her blog ever again. So, here are some random things you ought to know about me :

I am 38 years old and I still don't have a driving licence. In fact, I am terrified of driving.

I am really bad at keeping money. I don't own a single property. If I die today my entire bequest would consist of jeans, shoes, handbags, books, home plan magazines and some lovely furniture.

I can't bake.

If I miss solat I get a massive headache. It's true! Some people get instant retribution, I guess.

There are at least five people I don't get along with that I still go kissy kissy when I meet them.
(No, it's not you lah)

Secretly, I am very vain but I can't admit to that because I'm not pretty enough to be vain. (And that, in itself, is such a self absorbed thing to say)

I hate peas.

In school, I played drums in the school brass band. I wore a red short skirt and white boots.

I have never, ever called my husband by his name. He was introduced to me as "Tengku" and I wasn't about to call him that. "Saiffuddin" was too long, and "Din" didn't suit him.

Sometimes I brush my teeth only once a day. Sometimes after every meal. But always before sex.

The secret to my excellent chili is prunes. The secret to my excellent salsa is sambal belacan. The secret to my excellent chicken curry is Brahim's.

and lastly,

The thought that my doctor, people in Tan Sri Hassan Marican's office, and the GM of the Perdana Leadership Foundation read this blog is more frightening than being under SB surveillance.

Have a nice day, Mr Special Branch Officer Tuan Sir! May your day be filled with roti canai, nasi lemak and a clear conscience :)

mokciknab muttered at 1:52 pm ~ ~