Relationships (from the perspective of Adam and Aiysha)

Okay, okay I hear you, Chek Na. I have been guilty of not updating my blog. It's the American Idol thing, I tell you. It just mops up all your free time. Well, at this moment, at 4 pm Thursday, it is raining cats and dogs in Kelana Jaya, which means mother nature has once again defeated satellite technology, which means I can't watch the Results show. So I have an hour, to finally write something.

Last night, my kids and I had the usual how-is-school chat. For some reason, Adam decided to tell me that Aiysha has a boyfriend. Well he tried to anyway, before Aiysha started screaming like a banshee and pummeling him with a pillow. No matter, because I already knew aaaaall about it, thanks to my maid, Kak Ti. Kak Ti said every time the school bus drops her home, Aiysha would be in the middle of a fight with some boy. Apparently, Aiysha fancied him, and foolishly told another girl on the bus. The girl, I'm sure you'd guess, couldn't keep such a delicious secret, and told the object of desire. Aiysha found out and punched both the girl, and the boy.

I really can't imagine how being assaulted on a daily basis qualifies him as Aiysha's boyfriend, but then I thought, he might as well get used to it. It won't get any easier in marriage, honey.

I asked Kak Ti if the boy is cute. She replied that he's "hitam-hitam lah. Macam Pakistan". (Rather dark, like a Pakistani). It seems that the apple does not fall far from the tree, I told my dusky, nose-prominent, cricket playing husband, who of course took offence.

This year, Adam is positive no one will ever marry him. Last year, my ten year old was confident he could marry four women -- two who would go to work and earn money, while another two would stay at home, look after the kids and cook. He intends to play golf while these marriages subsisted. (No, I am not making this up. Ask my mother)

But at this moment, reality has set in. "I'm fat and I'm not good-looking. Girls want handsome boys", he tells me, like it's the bulletin of the day.

"Adam, listen to me", I said, looking at him as though I'm delivering Life's Lesson No 59, which in a way, I was, "girls may think they want a handsome guy, but eventually they just want someone who is nice to them".

"I'm nice", he retorted, "but they still go for the good looking people, like they go crazy over Vince in Akademi Fantasia. The girls in my class, they say I'm so nice and well behaved, but all they want to do is borrow my pencils and lose them". Life Lesson No 60 : girls are users.

"You know, mummy, why is it that if you're good-looking you can behave badly? Like Hadi, he's cool and all, but he has such bad manners. He'll go CHEKGOO! IMBUHAN TU APA CHEKGOO? without asking properly. And the girls still think he's so cute lah".

"Well", I said, "if you want girls to like you, why don't you make friends with them?"

Adam turned incredulous."I don't know how to be friends with guuurls! I don't know the first thing about them!"

"Well, you know Aiysha. She's a girl"

"Mummy", he explained, "It's different. Aiysha's my sister. I need a soul-mate". In the background, Aiysha scowls like a cat. I can almost hear my husband chuckle as he taps away at the PC, in the next room.

"Look, just treat girls the way you treat your other friends", I suggested.

Adam thought I lost it. He peered into my eyes, just to make sure my mind hasn't fallen into an abyss.

"Hellllo? Girls.Are.Not.Like.Boys.", he said, slowly and loudly, mouthing it just inches away from my nose. "They like all those icky stuff and they hold hands when they go to the canteen. We punch each other and", here he waves a hand across my eyes, "go wassssup! Girls don't understand all that stuff."

Adam sighed. "Girls always have it better. They look good, they're clever, they have it all together".

"Go to sleep, Adam", I said, as I switched off the light. No doubt his father will all but spoil all this when he gets older.

mokciknab muttered at 4:07 pm ~ ~