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The Madness of MokcikNab
Motives, movements and melodrama in the life of a thirty something mum.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004
What Shall I Wear Tomorrow?

Aaah, a blog is a demanding mistress. There was this little voice at the back of my head that says : "Go write something - it's a responsibility to your public", and then a bigger (gruffer) voice said : "Hey, it's your blog - you can do whatever you want, update whenever you want. Right now you have work to do, so do that first". Turns out that gruff voice was my husband. Heh.

But my public wants me, and so I write. (Yes, all the two of you who read my blog). I have been very busy lately, doing work for a change.

We have a big deal presentation tomorrow - we are trying to convince a certain Ministry to set up an internet television station and let us run it. Well, essentially that's the idea, but the government is usually not gullible, so we have to wrap it around something sweet and useful-looking, so that the Minister will say yes. I have learnt a great deal about humans during the course of this project, none of it very nice. In business, there is no free lunch -- and the worse part is lunch could very well be you. When you're small on capital but big on ideas, you have to be careful all the time, because it's easier to steal ideas than to steal money. I regret having to mistrust people but I have no choice because I am bad at reading them.

But sometimes, things happen and you meet someone willing to save your skin. There is a striking parallel between marriage and business partnership and I am amused that I took the same approach to both. It's part gut feel and part calculation. I had the same experience falling in love : it was someone that you were attracted to at first sight, and amazingly this object turns out to be an intelligent, absorbing person with surprise, surprise, exactly the same ideas as you. You do the math : find out what he does, project how much he might earn in the future, and figure if he would be a good father to your children. If all is a A-ok, you promise to go steady, and leave the rest pretty much to fate. Didn't work out too badly, in my case, although he hasn't yet approached that projected income. I'm no actuary, you see.

My friends and I found such a chemistry with another company. We are agonising over the prospect of union because the risks, I guess, are greater. You could lose a lot more than your virginity. (How about your house?) Besides, in a marriage, most problems can be worked out through (or with) sex - in business there is no such palliative. We're just going to have to trust our instinct, and get an exit strategy - which thankfully, does not exist in my mariage plans.

This is all I can afford to update today. My husband is yelling at me because I'm due for my gym class, and I still haven't figured out what to wear tomorrow. Appearances matter, of course. You want to look out-of-the-box and yet acceptable to a bunch of officials. Considering that all I wear are jeans and slippers and things that go with jeans and slippers, it might mean my initial investment in this project shall include a visit to MNG. Wish me luck!


baju kurung lah.. safe what.. wear a fancy tudung to project that 'out of the box' thinking.
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